想念。。死掉的感觉。。

不能信!从这一秒开始!

为什么我像是越大越白痴!!!明明知道人是无法相信的我却依然不断的相信他们!!几个月前被骗，现在又被骗!!真是无药可救无可救药走火入魔天底下的大笨蛋!!切记，人尤其是男人更不能相信!!不能信!!!一直被甜言蜜语骗。真是的!!!他们的话不能信!!!

伤害。

如果说因为失去会因此更珍惜现在或甚至是曾经拥有过的东西，那难道是说就算那人曾经因为伤害我而失去我，现在想挽回我，我就应该接受吗?可那也就像是赐予他一把剑相信着他不会伤害我。对，受过伤害可以会是愚蠢的做为，但是受过伤又再次的相信伤你的人，也是一种勇气。再次相信他的勇气。有些人或许会想那人是那么的愚蠢。因为第一次是天真，第二是愚昧，第三是无可救药。而我，願意承認自己是那麼的懦弱，毫無勇氣可言。所以不願再次的讓他傷我。而我的方法是，不再相信任何人。尤其是男人。

So.. This is what I have become.. Until today I then realised.

I have just realised,yes it's our experience who makes us what are we today. But the point is,what have I actually become.. I learnt to turn off my humanity switch. I learnt not to care. Seems like now,I learnt to care habitually,but not naturally,with my heart. With my love. Cause I am afraid. Yes. I am. I am afraid of loneliness. I care because I want them. Not that I love or care about them. But then.. Why do I tear? Because I used to care too much? But that's the period where I learnt not to care. Or that I cared too much that I didn't even realise I did the stuff and care I given to them?

Irresponsible guys who can't even think before they speak

Unless you can fulfil that promise of yours, or please guys. Don't be so inconsiderate, so irresponsible to give promises to a girl. No matter how small it is. No matter if you really take it for real. Coz we will. Although we know we can't trust you guys,our heart wishes to believe in someone,trust someone,therefore we believe you. Please don't misplace our trust. Coz it will only make us the more don't trust guys. Don't always say we place you guys in the friend zone, think, why do we do that. Guy friend telling me, don't worry, I will always be there for you. Maybe at times I can't be beside you,but you can call me anytime. Girls will take it for real. SO,UNLESS YOU CAN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR WORDS,OR ELSE KEEP SUCH WORDS TO YOURSELF.

让我任性一次好吗?就这么一次。

做人真的好累。有时候讨好自己和別人，两者之间只能选一。讨好自己，虽然有时会觉得孤单，但却不能说。我也无法放下尊严，委屈自己来换取陪伴。人于人之间，谁才是真正关心我的。其实很想消失一段时间，看谁会为我紧张难过。